In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
a search helicopter?!
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
