Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
