You can't special order awesome
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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