genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
