Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i was born a porn star she said
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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