WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize