I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
