I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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