i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
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you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
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I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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