I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
