the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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