i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Another day, another engagement, another cat
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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