mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
im holly from the hills drunk
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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