He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
