A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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