I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
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I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
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Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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