I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you would pick up someone in the library
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
