We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Success! We fucked roommates!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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