Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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