So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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