remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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