You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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