I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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