I think I just saw someone hide a body.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
