Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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