eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
