i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
