Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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