you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
