and next time when you feel me up, do it right
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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