glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
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and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
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An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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