Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize