I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize