i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just invented taco cereal.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
