Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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