I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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