She is in my trunk
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
