does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
