maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
ttyl tear gas
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you had me at cake vodka
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
