Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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