Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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