the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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