haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize