I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
