I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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