And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize