I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
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Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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