I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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