you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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