There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
