ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
