the condom got lost in my hair
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
