sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
