Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
