You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
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You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
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How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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