So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
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I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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